Success Requires Doing What Others Won't

Everyone wants success, but few are willing to pay its price. Most people see successful entrepreneurs enjoying freedom. They don't see the years of uncertainty, sacrifice, long hours, and relentless persistence that made that freedom possible. One of the biggest misconceptions about entrepreneurship is that it begins with freedom. It doesn't.

It begins with responsibility, uncertainty, sacrifice, and a willingness to do work that most people would rather avoid. That is the part few people talk about. People are attracted to the rewards of entrepreneurship. They imagine being their own boss, setting their own schedule, building wealth, and creating something meaningful. Those rewards are real, but they come later. Long before they arrive comes the work that makes them possible.

In the early years, there is little glamour. You make the tedious and difficult phone calls. You solve problems no one else can solve. You follow up when you are tired. You work evenings and weekends. You do countless jobs that no one notices because there is no one else to do them.

Many people assume something has gone wrong when they reach this stage. They become discouraged because the work is repetitive, the progress is slow, and the recognition is nonexistent. In reality, nothing has gone wrong. That is exactly where success is built.

The work others avoid develops qualities that cannot be learned from a book or a seminar. It builds discipline. It strengthens resilience. It teaches patience. Most importantly, it creates confidence. Not the confidence that comes from positive thinking, but the confidence that comes from repeatedly doing difficult things successfully. Above all, it builds character.

That is why entrepreneurship is such a powerful vehicle for self-discovery. You may believe you are building a business, but the business is also building you. Every obstacle reveals something about your character. Every setback teaches resilience. Every responsibility forces growth. The greatest transformation often takes place within the entrepreneur, not the company.

I experienced this firsthand. Like many entrepreneurs, I initially believed success would bring happiness. When my business became successful far sooner than I expected, I discovered something surprising. Achievement and fulfillment are not the same thing.

That realization forced me to rethink both my business and my life. Through years of reflection, I came to understand that true success is not measured by money, titles, or recognition. It is measured by the freedom, purpose, independence, and fulfillment you create for yourself.

Ironically, I could never have reached that understanding without first accepting the difficult work that entrepreneurship demanded.

Success follows a predictable pattern. First comes responsibility. Then competence. Then credibility. Only after years of doing what others won't does real freedom begin to appear. The people who enjoy the greatest freedom are almost never the ones who sought comfort first. They are the ones who accepted responsibility first. They embraced difficult conversations, uncomfortable decisions, tedious work, and uncertain outcomes because those were the prices success required.

The principle extends far beyond business. The strongest relationships require difficult conversations. Good health requires consistent habits. Financial independence requires delayed gratification. Personal growth requires honest self-examination. Nearly everything worthwhile in life asks us to do something that is uncomfortable before it becomes rewarding. Consistency is key to all of life’s endeavors.

That is why success belongs to those willing to do what others won't. Not because they are more talented. Not because they are luckier. It is because they consistently choose responsibility over comfort, discipline over convenience and long-term fulfillment over short-term ease.

In the end, success is rarely one dramatic decision. It is the accumulation of hundreds of ordinary decisions to make one more call, solve one more problem, learn one more lesson, and keep moving forward when quitting would be easier. Those small choices separate those who dream about success from those who actually achieve it.

If you're willing to pay those prices, success eventually gives you something far more valuable than money or recognition. It gives you the freedom to live life on your own terms. Success requires doing what others won't.

You are what you post

Back in the mid-seventies when I was a young man interviewing for a sales manager position at a fax machine company which was brand new technology then. I don’t recall the company name because, after all, that was long ago. But I sure remember that I was mystified as to why I failed to get the job offer. For any driven young person who thinks highly of himself or herself, that not an unusual point-of-view.

Here’s what happened. I had an interview in the morning with a recruiter from the company who was very positive and selected me to meet his Vice President Sales who was going to be in town at the Hyatt Regency Hotel that evening. I arrived at 7:30 pm sharp and ended up spending several hours with them drinking wine, talking about all sorts of stuff and having a grand time. I was a “shoe in” for the job, I thought.

A couple of days later, however, I was rejected for the position and was haunted by their decision for many years thereafter. I knew that something didn’t feel right. Then it came to me at about 3:00 am thirty years later. I didn’t get the sales management position because I was too young. Not chronologically, but in terms of maturity. I wasn’t mature enough to realize that my behavior that night was inappropriate for a sales management candidate.

I still wonder what might have happened if I had the maturity at that time to request a Diet Coke rather than a glass of wine and stayed for a half hour chat with the Vice President, thanked them both for the opportunity to be a candidate for the job, and then bid them a good evening. Would I have received the job offer? Probably would have.

Today’s “maturity check” equivalent to a meeting at the Hyatt Regency Hotel takes place much earlier in the job candidate evaluation process. It starts with a Google search of the candidate. Job candidates make it much easier for prospective employers these days.

All a prospective employer has to do is go online and look at Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, X, and other websites and see what kind of posts the candidate makes routinely. Is the person thoughtful? Are they considerate and respectful of others? Do they have commonsense? Did their posts illustrate maturity?

Rightly or wrongly, prospective employers will be impacted by digital content and make hiring decisions based, in part, on posts. Just as they will by a candidate’s grooming, body language, and other factors. Remember the expression “You are what you eat.” Well, today “You are what you post.” Therefore, be careful. It is important think ahead before posting. It could cost you a job, client, or customer and you won’t even know why.

Why Experience Still Matters in an AI World

Artificial Intelligence is changing the way we work, communicate, and make decisions. It can generate reports, write articles, answer questions, analyze data, and perform tasks that once required significant human effort. Understandably, many people are asking whether experience still matters. I believe it matters more than ever.

Throughout my career, I have witnessed remarkable technological advances. I have seen businesses transformed by computers, fax machines, the internet, email, websites, social media, and smartphones. Each innovation brought predictions that certain skills would become obsolete. Yet one thing remained constant: technology changed the tools, but it did not change human nature.

Artificial intelligence can process information at incredible speed. What it cannot do is replace wisdom. Wisdom comes from experience. It is developed through successes and failures, good decisions and bad decisions, opportunities seized and opportunities missed. It is acquired by working with people, solving problems, overcoming setbacks, and learning lessons that cannot be found in a database.

When I founded Venmark International in 1976, there was no internet. If we wanted information, we had to find it ourselves. If we made mistakes, we learned from them. Those experiences taught lessons that no textbook could provide. More importantly, they taught judgment.

Judgment is one of the most valuable assets any entrepreneur or professional can possess.

Artificial intelligence can provide information. It can even suggest solutions. However, it cannot determine whether a particular decision is right for you, your business, your employees, or your customers. It cannot fully understand your values, your goals, or the unique circumstances surrounding a difficult choice. Information and judgment are not the same thing.

In fact, as information becomes more abundant, the ability to interpret it wisely becomes increasingly important.

Consider two individuals given access to the exact same AI tools. One may achieve exceptional results while the other struggles. The difference is rarely the technology. More often, it is the experience, perspective, and judgment each person brings to the table.

Experience teaches us which questions to ask.

Experience teaches us when something sounds good in theory but may fail in practice.

Experience teaches us that people are often more complicated than data suggests.

Experience teaches us that there are usually consequences beyond the immediate outcome.

Perhaps most importantly, experience teaches humility. The longer we live and the more challenges we encounter, the more we realize how much there is still to learn.

I use artificial intelligence. I find it fascinating and useful. Like many technological advances before it, it can increase productivity and provide valuable insights. But I view it as a tool, not a substitute for human judgment.

The real value of experience has never been the ability to memorize facts. The real value of experience is the ability to interpret and understand what those facts mean.

As artificial intelligence continues to evolve, the people who will benefit most are not necessarily those with the newest technology. They will be those who combine powerful tools with sound judgment, strong character, and the wisdom resulting from years of accumulated experience. Technology will continue to change. It always has. However, the qualities that lead to success—integrity, perseverance, sound judgment, and the ability to learn from experience—remain timeless.

Artificial intelligence may help us work more efficiently, but it cannot replace the wisdom that comes from living, learning, and growing throughout our lives.

It Takes B.A.L.L.S. to be an Entrepreneur

(B)  BOUNCE BACK – As Jack Welch, former GE Chairman wrote, “We would also add two other qualities to the must-have list. One is heavy-duty resilience, a requirement because anyone who is really in the game messes up at some point. You’re not playing hard enough if you don’t! But when your turn comes, don’t make the all-too-human mistake of thinking getting ahead is about minimizing what happened. The most successful people in any new job always own their failures, learn from them, regroup, and then start again with renewed speed, vigor, and conviction.”

(A) ABILITY TO SEE AROUND CORNERS – Jack Welch also wrote, “The other quality we’d mention is really special but quite rare: the ability to see around corners, to anticipate the radically unexpected. Now, practically no one starts their career with a sixth sense for market changes. It takes time to get a feel for what competitors are thinking and what product or service customers will eventually want – once they know it exists. But the bottom line is, the sooner you develop this acumen and the more you hone it, the farther you will go.”

(L) LEVERAGE – From a marketing standpoint, take full advantage of publicity and the social media to create your brand and illustrate how your products or services solve problems and help serve the community. Be consistent because in marketing there are three things that matter most: repetition, repetition, and repetition. Regardless of how many messages you put in front of prospects and how many times you call on them, they are only going to be receptive when they are ready and that is typically beyond your control. Unless, of course, you can tell when their current vendor is going to raise prices or botch an order, or some other event creates the opportunity.

(L) LEVITY – Being an entrepreneur is serious business and very stressful. You have money at risk, often times other peoples’ money too, and are responsible for employees and their families. So, to help diffuse the weight of this responsibility you need to laugh and live. Make the time for vacations and truly “vacate” and get away.  Schedule them in advance. Sitting on the beach with an iPad solving problems back at the office isn’t vacating. You need to provide fun for your employees beyond building something together which, of course, is a blast! Quarterly parties, barbecues, softball games, beach parties, and other social-business events can go a long way to build a cohesive team.

(S) STAND FOR SOMETHING – This relates to your brand and the way you conduct business. I am a product publicist and truly believe that publicity is the best marketing value there is and in order to serve the small business community, I had to create a business model that would allow our firm, Venmark International, to provide high-level publicity services, domestic and international; for fees small businesses could afford. Further, in order to service media outlets properly and get the most possible exposure for our clients, I created a writing formula that I have never violated. The result is the product news we provide is sought after by many editors and we have a loyal client base including many companies which have partnered with us since 1977.

Eliminate the Defensive Customer

On the topic of human nature and our automatic defenses, how many times have you been to a clothing store, fully intending to buy a shirt or something, and an aggressive salesperson virtually attacks you. How do you respond?  Usually, “no thanks, just looking.” You don’t want to be bothered. You don’t want to exercise more decision-making.

I received great advice many years ago from a client by the name of Gene Megna. He said, “When asking a prospect or customer for an order, it often puts them on the defensive, so it is much better to insert the words, ‘idea of.’”

So, rather than asking for an International Publicity Order, I would ask, “How do you feel about the idea of doing some international publicity for product XYZ?” As Gene suggested, I’d get a more objective answer from them and then could follow up and make the sale. Just those two simple words took the defensive “no thanks” out of the equation.

That was great advice and I still use that sales technique today because it changes the question from a closed-end “yes or no” question that puts pressure on the client, to an open-end question which is intended to gather information and get feedback.  So, eliminate the defensive customer, ask them what they think of the idea of whatever it is you are trying to persuade them to do.

7 Leadership Lessons Small Business Owners Can Learn from Abraham Lincoln

Abraham Lincoln’s leadership style and public service offer timeless lessons that can help small business owners succeed and grow sustainably. Here are just 7 of his wise lessons.

1.      Listen to a wide range of people
Lincoln gathered advice from allies, opponents, and experts alike, valuing diverse perspectives. As a small business owner, seek input from customers, employees, suppliers, and even strangers. This broadens your understanding and helps you make more informed, balanced decisions.

2.      Have a greater purpose
Lincoln transformed a political struggle into a moral mission. In business, focus on solving real problems and creating value beyond profit. A clear mission helps guide strategy, build loyalty, and ensure long-term resilience.

3.      Keep emotions in check
Despite personal tragedies and setbacks, Lincoln maintained composure and commitment. In business, emotional intelligence—managing stress, avoiding impulsive decisions, and staying focused on goals—is critical for stability and trust.

4.      Nurture your brand
Lincoln understood the importance of reputation. For small businesses, brand consistency, integrity, and public perception are as important as products or services. Treat your brand as a long-term asset.

5.      Share the wealth
Lincoln believed in fairness and shared rewards. In business, this means fair wages, transparent practices, and community engagement. Building trust with employees and customers strengthens your foundation.

6.      Embrace the need to change
Lincoln adapted to changing circumstances, including new tools and communication methods. Small businesses should stay open to innovation—adopting new technologies can improve efficiency and competitiveness.

7.      Master your skills
Lincoln’s famous quote, “Give me six hours to chop down a tree, and I will spend the first four hours sharpening my axe,” emphasizes preparation and continuous improvement. For small business owners, this means investing in both technical expertise and business acumen.

In practice:
Combine Lincoln’s emphasis on listening, purpose, and emotional control with modern business skills like branding, adaptability, and technology use. This blend can help small businesses thrive in uncertain times.

7 Must Have Character Traits for Entrepreneurs

There has been a great deal written about this topic over the years and based upon my experience working with entrepreneurs for a half-century, I thought I’d offer my observations.

Two things of which I am certain is that “Your greatest strength is always your greatest weakness” and regardless of your degree or title, your approach to problem-solving is either as a technician [I’ll do it myself] or as a manager [I’ll get someone else to do it]. 

A third thing might be karma: what goes around comes around! In other words, in life there are givers and there are takers. To be successful as an entrepreneur you must be a giver. You must want to provide real value to your clients and customers. I’ve never seen a company that takes advantage of their customers succeed.

Here are 7 must have character traits for entrepreneurs:

1. Empathy and a genuine desire to help others

2. Personal accountability and discipline

3. Know thyself and trust your instincts

4. Curiosity and thirst for knowledge

5. Drive to succeed and persuasive ability

6. Belief in your product, service, or mission

7. Positive attitude, tenacity and integrity

                To sum it up, wanting to get rich isn’t enough of a motivation for entrepreneurs. Being passionate about your purpose and wanting to provide a product or service of exceptional value is what matters. The financial rewards will follow if there is a need that your product or service fills and you run your business properly.

7 HUGE lessons about ENTREPRENEURSHIP

1.    Process – The importance of process cannot be overstated relative to the security of having a system. As Scott Adams, author of the comic strip Dilbert wrote, “Losers have goals and winners have systems.”

2.    Experience vs. Failure – Experience is the act of doing something and failure is a judgment about that experience. “Don’t overthink it, do it.” Learn to trust your instincts. There are only two outcomes: results or excuses.

3.    Risk Evaluation – In making choices, ask yourself, “What is the worst thing that can happen? Entrepreneurship is about risk management.

4.    Boundaries – Employees, vendors, and clients are not your friends. Always follow the money. Quite often when someone recommends a person, they are trying to help that person more than you.

5.    Positioning – Who are you going to serve in the market and what will be your value proposition? Are you going to be a Cadillac or a Chevrolet?

6.    Yin and Yang – Your greatest strength is always your greatest weakness. For example, if you are charming and articulate, you may not spend the time on preparation required for an important meeting because you think you can “fly by the seat of your pants.”

7.    Learn How to Sell – Nothing happens until a sale is made. Learn the difference between open-end questions to gather information and closed-end questions to get affirmation. When asking a closing question, whoever talks first loses!

Bonus: Keep a daily journal and make entries relative to work, how you’re “feeling,” your wins, losses, etc. Talk to yourself. Be honest. Write down the date and time of day with every entry. This will reveal interesting patterns such as when you’re most creative, positive, or negative.

Are we Discouraging Courage Today?

When I was a youngster in the ‘50s, an important message was, “If at first you don’t succeed, then try, try again. Today the message appears to be that “feeling good” builds character. Kids get trophies just for showing up so they will feel good. We want people to feel good and have created “safe spaces” in universities to help achieve that goal.

In the event of a war, which is more likely than not based upon history, I sure hope our military is prepared for an enemy that will subject them to much worse than bad feelings. We need courageous people in the military and in academia, business and industry. Behold the turtle; he makes progress only when he sticks his neck out. The risk and reward paradigm is necessary for making progress.

Entrepreneurship requires taking risks and the ability to travel unfamiliar roads while subjected to potholes, twists, turns, bumps, and dips that aren’t “safe spaces.” In my book, Success and Self-Discovery, I describe specifically how I handled unfamiliar and challenging roads. I share how my dramatic early success resulted in depression rather than elation, how family impacted my business, and how I overcame many intertwined emotional and business obstacles in order to transform my business and lead a more fulfilled, profitable, and happier life.

My hope is that my book will inspire readers to become entrepreneurs. Living a life of risks and rewards is a beautiful thing. It is the stuff that makes you really feel good and safe in your own SELF. The definition of courage is “the ability to do something that frightens one.”

Wow, it appears that popular culture is discouraging courage, the very character trait that is necessary to take risks and make progress doing anything. Think about it.

Creating Mindshare Drives Sales

Regardless of how great a sales team you have, the events that stimulate a prospective customers’ buying behavior are outside of your control. If a prospect doesn’t perceive a need for your product or service, you can call on them until you are blue in the face without success.   They will only respond favorably if they believe you can help them solve their problems.

Problems come in many flavors: your prospective customer may be expanding their operations and need new equipment or components, they may have just had a request for a quotation that requires your product, or perhaps their vendor has just had a price increase, quality issues, or botched a delivery.  Therefore you want to have your company’s products in front of prospects when a problem arises. This awareness will provide the greatest likelihood of success.

Competing for mindshare is critical to “having the door open when a sales opportunity arises.” When prospective customers read about your products as news in their industrial and technical magazines, publications, on various blogs and websites, they remember and respond.   Whether your customer is an OEM, a distributor seeking a new line, a dealer, or an end-user, product news in these media outlets is the most cost-effective way to assure that - when a prospective customer has a need your product or service fills - you will be visible to them. Obviously, this increases the odds that they will contact you or that your sales call will be constructive.

 Ideally, it would be nice to be physically in front of all prospective customers at all times. But that isn’t realistic; especially for small companies. The next best thing, of course, would be for you to be lucky enough to be making sales calls on the day when one of the above problems occurs.   Being lucky, however, is not a business plan.

 The best way to meet this challenge of creating mindshare is to maintain widespread visibility where it matters by implementing a well-executed product publicity campaign that targets a wide range of traditional and social media outlets.

 To use a sports analogy, the relationship of product exposure and creating mindshare to sales calls is like the relationship of a left jab to a right cross in a boxing match. The better and more consistent the product publicity left jab, the more likely the sales call right cross will score a knockout punch.

 Creating mindshare with an effective product publicity campaign to enhance sales opportunities is the one-two punch every successful business needs. It assures you that when a prospective customer’s level of interest piques to take action and buy; your product will be fresh on his or her mind.   That is the importance of creating mindshare, the practical application of “branding.”

Do you know the 3 Most Important Factors in Marketing?

In the real estate business it has long been said, “the three most important factors when selling a home or property are location, location, and location.”

For marketers, the three most important factors are: repetition, repetition, and repetition. Why?  Because repetition puts your products in front of prospective customers when their need arises and repetition reinforces perceptions about your products and company. In other words, repetition gets attention, builds brands, and most importantly, generates inquiries.

There is no magic pill when it comes to meeting the above marketing challenge. However, the closest thing to a magic pill is a well-executed product publicity campaign.  First, you have to know what publicity is. It isn’t “free advertising,” as is often promoted by some in the advertising business. Publicity is news and information. By itself, publicity has tremendous value. In fact, the more newsworthy a media outlet, the more it charges for advertising. In other words, the value of the “space for sale” is directly correlated to the value of the editorial. So, the first thing that is necessary to create a well-executed publicity program is to change your point-of-view.

Rather than seeing publicity as free advertising, see it as making a contribution to the very reason why the media exists: to bring readers news and information. Develop press releases that help editors and Web hosts accomplish this by illustrating how your products solve problems. And if they “choose” to publish your contribution; everybody wins!

Why is product publicity so effective?  First, if an editor or Web host decides to publish news about your company, it is because they deem it newsworthy. By definition, it will carry more credibility than an advertisement. This helps establish and solidify your brand. Just reflect on Apple’s introduction of the Mac, Ipod, and Iphone for validation of this idea. The widespread exposure and repetition of the message in various media outlets not only reinforced the notion of Apple as an innovator, it also generated sales inquiries from potential customers and distributors.

I can hear it now; I’ve heard it before, “I’m not Steve Jobs and my products are not like his.” Well, they don’t have to be. If there is a need your product or service fills, there will be media outlets interested in learning how they accomplish this.  As marketers, we have no control over whether our prospective customers are “ready to make a change’ and try our product. They may be happy today with their current vendor, but tomorrow might bring a price increase, botched delivery, or some other opportunity may be created as a result of expansion, a personnel change, or another factor out of our control. The real marketing challenge is: To “be in front of that prospective customer” when such an opportunity arises and to do it in the most cost-effective way!

You want these prospective customers to call your company, visit your Web site, or search for your product or company. Widespread product publicity will accomplish these objectives more effectively than any other tool in your marketing toolbox. Product publicity can also uncover new markets functionally and geographically, drive traffic to your website, and help determine the best media outlets for advertising programs. And, if properly done, it will do it more cost-effectively than any other element of the marketing mix.

The Real Work of Entrepreneurship Happens Within You

If you were inspired by Shoe Dog and motivated by Atomic Habits, the book Success and Self-Discovery shows what happens when grit meets discipline in the real world of entrepreneurship.

Not every entrepreneur builds Nike.
But every entrepreneur must build themselves.

In Success and Self-Discovery, Steven M. Stroum shares the unvarnished journey of building a business from the ground up without outside capital, without guarantees, and without shortcuts.

This is an entrepreneurial memoir rooted in personal responsibility, persistence, and practical experience.

It is about making payroll.
Earning credibility.
Learning from rejection.
Standing alone in difficult decisions.

Where Shoe Dog captures the scale of ambition and where Atomic Habits explains the science of behavior, Success and Self-Discovery reveals the internal transformation that occurs when daily discipline is tested in the marketplace.

Entrepreneurship is not theory. It is exposure to the real world. It reveals doubt, it strengthens resilience, and it demands ownership.

Through setbacks and hard-earned lessons, Stroum demonstrates that success is not a single event. It is the cumulative result of consistent action, strategic positioning, and the willingness to grow and evolve.

Inside, you will discover:

• Why personal responsibility is the entrepreneur’s greatest competitive advantage
• How disciplined daily decisions and behavior quietly compound
• Why publicity and persuasion determine whether ideas survive
• How adversity becomes your leverage for growth
• Why confidence is built through action, not motivation

This book speaks to small business owners, aspiring entrepreneurs, veterans, and builders who understand that independence carries weight and meaning.

You may never build a billion-dollar company. But you will build something far more important: The person capable of owning your outcome. Success happens within you.

What’s Your Currency?

A great client and friend of mine, George Berbeco, shared the stage with me at an IEEE Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers presentation many years ago. I spoke about product publicity and marketing and he addressed small business management. I distinctly recall his succinct definition of the roll of business: To create assets. The assets his company created were electrostatic control products.

Create assets. That’s what businesses do. That is their currency. My business creates assets, that is, earns money by effectively obtaining widespread and relevant publicity for our clients. Personally, however, my currency is the satisfaction I feel when one of my clients’ products lands on the front page of a prestigious magazine or on the top of its website. I feel that way because it takes skill, savvy, and creativity to make that happen. As a businessman, however, the processes and procedures that I’ve developed to produce and deliver my services most effectively and profitably is my currency. One of the processes I created, for example, allows me to spend as much time on a project as needed because my income is based on the average of many projects, not on hourly fees. It is a win-win for clients and me.

This essay was stimulated by a very engaging conversation I had with a highly skilled commercial photographer and dear friend who is also an artist. I can relate to that viewpoint and consider my business to be my art. Perhaps that’s why I explained satisfaction as my currency. My personal currency is the pride of achievement plus the long-standing client relationships lasting 49-years as the owner of my business. My business currency, though, is creating assets. Those assets are hard dollars resulting from my expertise. 

So, what is an artist’s currency? An artist's currency refers to the value or medium through which they exchange, gain recognition, or achieve fulfillment in their work. It is not monetary. An artist's currency can take many intangible and tangible forms, depending upon their personal needs and motivations. They might include their ability to influence and provoke thought or deep feelings, recognition, reputation, and legacy, or self-expression and self-discovery.

Healing and catharsis is also an artist’s currency. For me, writing my book, Success and Self-Discovery was very cathartic. It put my career and life in perspective and provided me with a better understanding of my personal journey and the choices I’ve made. But it also serves as a story and guide to help others grow and transform in order to achieve their personal and professional goals. The wealth of positive feedback that I’ve received from readers is my currency as an author. Obviously, I’d like to sell millions of books, but that’s a marketing and business function; separate from the healing, catharsis, and satisfaction of having written and published it. What’s your currency?

What’s Keeping you from Real Success?

In her 1980 book Overcoming the Fear of Success, Martha Friedman described her “Family Olympics” paradigm which is a metaphor that refers to the way in which families can unintentionally create an environment that promotes competition and undermines support among family members. She had a history of creating roadblocks for herself until she was 56 years old and I feared I was on the same track back in 1979. My company’s rise was meteoric. After starting with only $300, within 10 months we employed 10 full-time people and within three years had 2,000 accounts with a very high percentage of repeat business. But, rather than being elated, I became depressed.

I began to question my interest in the further development of our sales force and also began to understand why success had created problems for me. In Freidman’s book she explains how she was categorized and labeled a certain way as it related to her siblings and parents. And the reason that she didn’t excel and become a doctor until she was 56 was because she allowed the paradigm to govern her life. The family forces to keep you in place are extremely powerful and when you permit yourself to grow beyond them, it creates a lot of friction from all of the affected family members.

My book, Success and Self-Discovery describes my journey from the US Air Force to college, to San Francisco for a couple of years and finally to becoming an entrepreneur. That’s where the real story begins. I ultimately built a million dollar company and take the reader through the trials, tribulations, and transformations that I faced in real-time because I saved every appointment book and my personal journals since 1976 which had contemporaneous notes. Amazon book reviews say that I’m a great storyteller with amazing detail and that’s exactly why.

For anyone who was belittled by their parents or other authority figures and labeled in a way that created low expectations and even lower self-esteem, both of which have kept them from realizing their full potential, Success and Self-Discovery is a must-read. I describe how I overcame many unexpected and unbelievable personal and business obstacles in order to lead a more fulfilled and profitable life. I tell how hiring my brother almost doomed my business and how my key man tried to steal my business while I was an Ambassador to South Korea for the International Rotary Foundation. At the same time I include invaluable how-to sales, marketing, business, and personal advice that will help everyone.

You will read entertaining stories about the specific steps I took to transform my business from one that pleased others to one that made me truly fulfilled. This business memoir is a testament to the power of determination, innovation, passion, resilience, and luck. Hopefully it will help people avoid some of the pitfalls and painful mistakes that I’ve experienced throughout my own entrepreneurial journey. What’s keeping you from real success?

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Bigger Isn’t Always Better

Growth has traditionally been synonymous with scaling and the expansion of operations in business. However, a paradigm shift is underway; challenging the ideal that scaling is the sole path to success for entrepreneurs.

Scaling involves enlarging a business’ infrastructure, workforce, and customer base. While it can lead to impressive sales figures, it also requires substantial resources, risks, and potential pitfalls. Every entrepreneur has to define what growth means to them. And it isn’t easy when you’re growing dramatically early on. Accountants and other professionals associated with a business often apply pressure to scale because they’re solely focused on the numbers. The bigger you get the more money they’ll make from you. As if by magic, as your business grows their fees grow.

In today’s fast-paced technological environment where things can change on a dime, agility, innovation, and adaptability are vital characteristics. Alternative ways to grow can include deepening customer relationships and understanding their pain points on a granular level rather than spreading resources across new markets. Growing through innovation by developing new products and services not only appeals to existing customers but also attracts new ones seeking novel solutions.

My favorite path to growth was to be distinct and dominate a niche by creating a fee-per-project-based business. Instead of striving for widespread market dominance, I chose to excel within a niche. Focusing on a specific customer group or a specialized product or service allows for stronger brand identity and increased authority in that particular area.

Growing a business isn’t just about getting bigger; it’s about getting better, smarter, and more customer-centric. While scaling a business does offer the potential for rapid growth, it is not the only path to success for an entrepreneur. Ironically, focusing solely on scaling can lead to stretched resources, compromised quality and service, and a loss of agility. All characteristics which are critical in today’s dynamic business environment.

The bottom line is that as an entrepreneur you have to be true to yourself and the culture you’ve created at your business. Scaling isn’t for everyone. Bigger isn’t always better.

Reframe Your Reality to Produce Results

The first day of training new salespeople began the day after Memorial Day. That Tuesday morning, Sandy Noonan, Henry Michaels, and two other people began our training program. That first day I explained everything to them about our sales presentation, the rationale, etc. and why it was important for them to learn it word-for-word. The analogy that I gave them was that of traveling down the rails on a train versus driving a car down the highway. With the former you can observe and focus on the environment and with the latter you cannot. So, it was important to be able to focus on your prospect and listen to their concerns. That’s where the sale is made. Naturally, it was acceptable to paraphrase for personal comfort, but not rewrite it. The next morning, we would begin role plays and in the afternoon discuss the telephone sales presentation which would be in front of them when they dialed. We called it “smiling and dialing.”

Sandy had previously worked in an administrative position at a bank and was a 29-year-old woman who wanted an opportunity to get into sales. She was unafraid of straight commissions and knew that she would need to find an entry-level position to make the switch from administration to sales. She really understood what Sales Development Associates was all about and she was smart, enthusiastic, and attractive. On Thursday, their third day, Sandy and Henry began setting up appointments. By Friday morning, Sandy had set two appointments. She was a natural!  

The two other account executives I hired had dropped out by Thursday. Believe it or not, our structured approach was too demanding for them. They didn’t even possess the self-discipline required to learn our sales presentation. One of them sat across from me and attempted to give his sales presentation and it became obvious that he was reading it from his briefcase to the side of him. So, I said, “excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom, I’ll be right back,” and left my office. But, when I returned, instead of going back behind my desk, I sat down next to him and asked him to continue role playing his presentation. He got all befuddled and we agreed that he would be better off employed elsewhere. If you don’t have the self-discipline to learn your sales presentation, then you aren’t going to be successful as a salesperson.

At the end of that Thursday, Sandy came into my office and started to cry. Sobbing mercilessly, she explained that she had never sold before and was petrified to go out on a sales appointment by herself the next morning. My schedule wouldn’t allow me to go with her, but what I did do, however, was give her one of my best pep talks ever. I said, “Sandy, I’d like you to imagine something for me." “Okay,” she said as her whimpering began to subside. “Stop and imagine that you’ve been selling for 10 years and that you had personally sold over 1,000 accounts! How would you feel then? Would you be scared?”  She replied, “No, of course not, I’d feel confident and just go out and sell them.” I said, “of course you would! Feel the confidence and remember that you know more about the services we provide than your prospect does. And when you go out tomorrow morning to make those sales calls, I want you to imagine that you’ve been selling for 10 years and that you have over 1,000 accounts, and behave accordingly. Just go about your business and remember, you know more about product publicity than they do. You’re going to do just fine. Go out there and have fun, Sandy.”

Sandy went out that Friday morning and made what we call a one call close. It was her first appointment and she nailed it, pulling in her first order and a check. She went on to set up a second appointment for the following week. We went to that meeting together on Tuesday and made her second sale.

She used reframing to change her attitude and set herself up to win. As they say, “Perception is reality.” The truth is that we can worry ourselves sick and become paralyzed or change our mindset to feel better and more confident so that we can win. The choice is ours. So, reframe your reality to produce results.

The above is an excerpt from Success and Self-Discovery.

External Approval is a Powerful Accelerant, but a Terrible Fuel Source

You can possess the right skillset and still operate with the wrong mindset. That was my experience when I started my business at twenty-eight with only a few hundred dollars, a strong work ethic, and a skillset that happened to align perfectly with the moment. The business took off like a rocket ship. Sales increased sharply, clients multiplied rapidly, and from the outside it appeared to be a textbook example of entrepreneurial success.

Yet internally, that wasn’t the case. Instead of feeling elated by our early success, I became severely depressed. With a dozen full-time employees depending on me, I required several hours of therapy each week simply to ensure I could perform my responsibilities as company president. The contradiction was confusing. I had done everything that conventional wisdom prescribes: I worked my butt off, solved problems, and delivered measurable results. Still, the satisfaction I assumed would accompany success was absent. What I eventually recognized was that competence and mindset are not the same thing. I had built the business with the right skills, but I had not really had a reason to examine the motivations driving me.

At that time, I believed success would automatically generate fulfillment. Experience proved otherwise. Success does not correct an unexamined motive; it magnifies it. Our early meteoric success exposed something I had not yet confronted: I was not building the business primarily for myself. I was driven, in large part, by a desire for my mother’s approval. I wanted her to be proud. I wanted her to be able to point to my achievements as evidence of success. On some level, I believed accomplishment could permanently secure validation.

That belief provided powerful short-term motivation. It fueled long hours and relentless focus. However, external approval is an accelerant, not a sustainable source of energy. It creates urgency but not stability. When early success arrived, the external validation I sought did not produce the internal fulfillment I expected. Without a deeper alignment between my work and my own identity, the achievement felt hollow.

This is where mindset becomes discipline rather than personality. A positive mindset is not cheerfulness, nor is it blind optimism. It is the deliberate alignment of effort with authentic purpose. It requires asking difficult questions: Who am I working for? Why am I pursuing this goal? What does success actually mean to me? These questions are rarely addressed in the early stages of ambition. We are taught skills, tactics, and strategies. We are taught how to win, often with the assumption that winning resolves everything else. Entrepreneurship has a way of disproving that assumption.

My eventual shift did not occur quickly. It required reflection, honesty, hard work, therapy, and a willingness to acknowledge that discipline applies inward as much as outward. When I began growing and transforming the business for reasons that I owned rather than externally performed, the experience of success changed. It became steadier. It became healthier. It became sustainable and felt really good.

The lesson I took from that period is straightforward but not simple: fulfillment is a far more durable fuel source than approval. Achievement pursued for validation can produce impressive results, but it rarely produces peace of mind. Achievement aligned with self-understanding creates both progress and stability. Ironically, I learned this not during a period of failure, but during a period of rapid success.

That early experience shaped the way I think about mindset today. A positive mindset is not inherited, and it is not accidental. It is practiced, examined, and refined. And when fulfillment becomes the fuel source, success has a foundation strong enough to last a lifetime.  External Approval is a powerful accelerant, but a terrible fuel source.

You Become Who You Repeatedly Prove Yourself to Be

For a long time, I believed self-discovery was something you arrived at. That eventually, with enough experience or reflection, clarity would simply appear. That isn’t how it works. Because of that belief, I sat with the book, "Where Do I Go From Here With My Life?" by John C. Crystal and Richard N. Bolles and wrote for several weeks.

Even though it was incredibly poignant and helpful, the book was just part, albeit a big part, of my personal growth. It was huge at the time. However, what I learned slowly and sometimes reluctantly is that identity isn’t something you find. It’s something you build. Not through intention alone, but through action. Through the choices you make when no one is watching. Through the habits you repeat long after motivation fades.

During my entrepreneurial career, most of the days I worked were ordinary and the decisions I had to make weren’t always dramatic. What I did, however, is keep a journal. I would write down the date and time of day that I was making an entry. That allowed me to discover when I was most productive or feeling stressed. My journal entries ultimately formed a pattern. And that pattern became evidence of who I was becoming. It also validated when I was most productive. Unlike the exercise with “Where do I Go From Here With My Life?” that looked back to draw conclusions, the journal was dynamic. It was an ongoing learning experience.

I remember a particular week when the business felt like it was unraveling. Clients delayed payments, a key employee quit, and I questioned whether I was cut out for entrepreneurship. That week’s journal entries were blunt. Frustration. Fear. Then resolve. When I reread those pages years later, I realized something: I didn’t become resilient in a single breakthrough. I became resilient by showing up on days I wanted to quit.

Every choice leaves a trace. How you spend your time. What you tolerate. What you pursue. What you avoid. Over time, those decisions speak more clearly than goals or plans ever will. We often overestimate the power of insight and underestimate the power of consistency. We wait for certainty before acting, when in reality, certainty follows action. You don’t decide who you are and then behave accordingly. You behave, repeatedly, and gradually discover who you are. This is especially true for those of us who take risks and “fake it ‘til we make it.”

Entrepreneurship accelerates this process. Every decision: hiring, firing, risking capital, choosing markets, etc. forces you to act before certainty arrives. The market doesn’t care who you intend to be. It rewards who you repeatedly prove yourself to be

Self-discovery isn’t about asking abstract questions. It’s about observing yourself honestly. About noticing what you do under pressure, what you return to after setbacks, and what you continue to choose even when it’s difficult. In my own life, clarity didn’t come from a single breakthrough, but from repetition. From showing up again, again, and again. From making small, imperfect decisions aligned with values I hadn’t fully articulated yet, but was already living.

Identity doesn’t require an announcement. It doesn’t need reinforcement from others. It becomes real when your actions begin to agree with each other. In the end, we are shaped less by what we say we believe than by what we consistently do. You become who you repeatedly prove yourself to be.

Success Begins the Moment You Take Responsibility

Self-discovery doesn’t start with inspiration. It starts with taking responsibility because only then are you open and receptive to the truth.

The truth is that there comes a time in everyone’s life when excuses stop working. When blaming circumstances, other people, or bad timing no longer explains where you are. That moment is uncomfortable, but it’s also liberating if you embrace it.

The day I accepted full responsibility for my outcomes was the day my life truly began to change. Not because everything suddenly worked out or plans fell perfectly into place, but because I stopped waiting for permission to act differently. I stopped looking outside myself for explanations or approval. It had nothing to do with my skillset, but it had everything to do with my mindset. Responsibility, I learned, isn’t about guilt or self-criticism. It’s about ownership. The moment you accept that your choices matter, you regain control over the direction you’re headed, even when the destination isn’t yet clear.

Many people confuse responsibility with burden. In truth, it’s the opposite. It’s the release of helplessness. You may not control every event, but you always control your response and that response, of course, shapes your future. That shift in understanding changes everything.

In the back hallway of my home is a piece of artwork with a sailboat and text that says, “You can’t change the wind, but you can adjust your sails.” That’s what taking responsibility for your own behavior is about.

Self-discovery begins when you stop asking, “Why did this happen to me?”
and start asking, “What will I do with what happened?”

London Mums Magazine Reviews Success and Self-Discovery

When London Mums Magazine reviewed Success and Self-Discovery: An Entrepreneur’s Memoir of Growth and Transformation, its editors highlighted a theme that connects deeply with their readers: reinvention.

“For many London mums, the idea of reinvention is not theoretical. It is lived daily. Careers pause, shift, restart, or evolve alongside family life, changing priorities, and unexpected challenges.”

In her thoughtful piece, Monica Costa explores how the memoir’s lessons on purpose, resilience, and starting again resonate beyond business. She writes that the book “charts a life shaped not by privilege or shortcuts, but by resilience, curiosity, and the willingness to start again.”

The review captures the essence of Steve Stroum’s story, an honest journey from a spare room startup to a thriving enterprise built on integrity and persistence. Rather than offering a glossy view of success, Success and Self-Discovery balances professional achievement with personal honesty about burnout, recovery, and growth.

“This balance, achievement paired with vulnerability, is what sets the book apart from many traditional business memoirs.”

The article also highlights praise from Writer’s Digest and Midwest Book Review, underscoring the book’s broad appeal to entrepreneurs, professionals in transition, and anyone re-evaluating what success means at different stages of life.

For readers exploring career reinvention or new chapters of purpose, London Mums Magazine’s review offers a meaningful introduction to the memoir’s message that growth is rarely linear, success is personal, and starting over is always possible.

Read the full review here:
👉 London Mums Magazine – A Memoir of Reinvention: Steven M. Stroum on Entrepreneurship, Purpose, and Starting Again